Embracing who you are and who you are becoming
The New Year brings a sense of renewal for many. It is often a time to reflect, reset and set intentions for the months ahead. Some also use this time to reconnect with what aligns to them most. As we enter this next season, it can be helpful to explore how to practice self-care in a way that supports our “becoming”—the continual process of evolving into the person we want to be. This post will guide you through understanding self-care and practicing intentional living to expand yourself in this next year.
Understanding self-care
There’s a lot of talk about self-care, but what does it truly entail? Self-care isn’t a one-size-fits-all practice. It’s not just about face masks, treating yourself, or taking long vacations—though those things can certainly have their place. At its core, self-care is about nurturing your body, mind and spirit to maintain balance and well-being. It’s about tuning into your needs, cultivating rituals and creating a life that aligns with your values.
One framework for understanding self-care comes from Dr. Daniel Wendler, who breaks it into two areas: self-soothing and self-nourishment.
Self-soothing is often what comes to mind when we think of self-care. This involves seeking short-term relief through activities that feel good or alleviate stress, like taking a relaxing bath or enjoying a favorite comfort food.
Self-nourishment, on the other hand, is more complex. It involves deliberate actions to nourish and support your overall well-being, even when those actions require effort or discomfort in the moment. Examples of self-nourishment include:
- Reviewing your financial goals and sticking to a budget
- Practicing emotional vulnerability by reaching out to a friend or loved one about a current issue
- Trying a new hobby, even if it feels uncomfortable at first
As Dr. Wendler explains, “Self-soothing makes you feel good right now, while self-nourishment causes temporary discomfort but makes you feel good later.”
Sometimes, self-nourishment involves confronting what isn’t working in your life and aligning with the person you want to become. While resting or seeking short-term relief is an important part of self-care, it’s equally vital to practice emotional resilience, face challenges head-on, and take responsibility for your personal growth.
If we only view self-care as a temporary retreat, we risk missing its deeper purpose—cultivating habits that allow us to thrive in all areas of life. Strive to balance self-soothing and self-nourishment in your self-care practice this year.
Living with intention: The art of becoming
The process of becoming is a dynamic, ever-evolving journey. It serves as a reminder that there is no true “arrival.” Instead, there is continual growth, expansion and unfolding of the self. The act of becoming involves embracing the idea that you are not static but always in process—expanding toward new experiences, knowledge and opportunities for growth.
When we recognize that self-care isn’t just about maintaining what we already have, but also about engaging with our ongoing process of becoming, we can take intentional steps toward living with purpose.
To build a life of intentional living, it’s helpful to reflect on your values and experiences, highlighting key areas of focus. Consider questions such as:
- What created energy in my life this past year, and how can I engage with it more this year?
- What people, places or things brought me unexpected joy?
- Where did I display strength I didn’t know I had?
- What challenges did fear prevent me from approaching, and how might I move past that fear?
By taking the time to reflect, you create space for self-awareness and insight that can guide you into the New Year with clarity and purpose. The goal isn’t to have all the answers right away but to start living more intentionally—choosing the path of growth, learning and self-compassion.
As you identify what has energized and brought joy to your life, you can make conscious choices to engage more deeply with those things, creating a life that reflects who you are becoming—not just who you’ve been. By aligning your actions with your values, embracing new experiences and confronting the fears that hinder your growth, you cultivate a purposeful, meaningful life.
Celebrate your progress, honor your setbacks and always return to the quiet, steady process of becoming. This is the true essence of self-care: living with intention, embracing who you are and welcoming the possibility of who you can still become.
The power of play: Rediscovering joy in every day life
As we think about our journey of becoming, one thing that often gets overlooked is the act of play. And no, play isn’t just for kids—it’s something we all need, especially as adults. Play can take many forms: trying out a new creative hobby, socializing in a stamp collector group or even dancing around your living room when no one’s watching. It’s about giving ourselves permission to let go of expectations, have fun and reconnect with the joy of being in the moment.
Play isn’t always about relaxation or indulgence in the traditional sense—it’s about stepping outside your routine and embracing a little freedom. In the process, you might rediscover things you love or find new ways to challenge yourself. Play can spark creativity, release stress and sometimes lead to surprising insights, letting you see yourself in a new light.
The National Institute for Play offers numerous resources, including tools to discover your unique “play personality,” which can help inspire ideas for incorporating play into your life.
As you step into this season of renewal, consider how intentional self-care and play can support your process of becoming. Just as reflecting on your values and setting intentions lays the foundation for growth, carving out time for play allows you to reconnect with joy and curiosity. While self-soothing offers moments of relief, play can ease the discomfort of stretching your limits, opening the door to self-nourishment and deeper transformation. By embracing both the joy of play and the challenges of self-nourishment, you create a balanced approach to self-care—one that fosters both immediate relief and long-term transformation.