A new year is approaching, and soon many U.S. adults will be participating in the annual tradition of New Year’s Resolutions. Since 2022, data suggests that many people are now prioritizing their mental health over their physical health when setting New Year’s Resolutions. However, research also indicates that of the people who set New Year’s Resolutions, 43% will give up on their goals by the end of January, and only 9% of Americans will complete their resolutions.
The desire to change, to improve, to dream – it’s part of what makes us human. It’s quite beautiful that we hold the ability to transform our thoughts and dreams into new, tangible realities. Our potential is always waiting to be discovered, and we are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for. So, why is it that we have all struggled at some point in our lives to reach our goals? Why is it that strong, positive intentions sometimes fizzle out into disappointment?
A goal without a plan is just a wish.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
SMART goals
As previously mentioned, more adults are setting goals to “improve mental health.” And oftentimes, people come to therapy with the goal to “be happy.” These goals are important, and they are worth pursuing, but they are very general and lack structure. An effective approach includes consideration of 5 different factors that make up what’s referred to as a SMART goal.
SPECIFIC: simple, sensible, significant
MEASURABLE: meaningful, motivating
ACHIEVABLE: attainable
RELEVANT: reasonable, realistic, results-based
TIMELY: time-based
Examples of non-SMART goals
“I’m going to be happier in 2024”
“I will improve my mental health”
“I will reduce my symptoms of depression this year”
Examples of SMART goals
“To achieve my goal of increasing a sense of joy, I will actively search for things I’m grateful for each day. For reflection and assessing improvement, I will journal about my experiences of gratitude at least 5 days per week. I will reevaluate this process at the beginning of April (3 months) to determine if any adjustments could be beneficial.”
“To achieve my goal of feeling less anxious, I will add 1 healthy activity to my routine every 3 months for the next 12 months. To start, I commit to completing 1 breath work or mindfulness video/exercise at least 5 days per week. I will rate my anxiety on a scale of 0-10 and I will write this down in my phone at the end of each day.”
“To achieve my goal of decreasing feelings of loneliness, I will reach out to at least 1 friend/family member/acquaintance per week to check in and see how they are doing; this can be done by text message, email, phone call, or in person. I will remind myself to stay curious, and I will pay attention to how I feel before and how I feel after having social interaction.”
Create your own SMART goal
Try writing out your own SMART goal. Allow some time for yourself to reflect on a goal you’d like to achieve, and then explore what comes up for you in the following questions:
Specific: What will you achieve, or what will you do? Who is involved? Be clear and precise.
Measurable: What data will you use to determine if you’ve met your goal? How will you know it’s accomplished? How will you measure or track how far you’ve come and how much you have left to go?
Achievable: Do you have the right skills and resources? You’ll want your goal to be realistic and within reach. This will be important for building confidence in yourself and the process.
Relevant: How or why will the result matter to you? Is this worthwhile? Is this the right time? Your goal should be aligned with your values and long-term goals.
Timely: What is the deadline for accomplishing your goal? What can be done today? What can be done a few weeks from now? What can be done 6 months from now? Having one or multiple deadlines for your goals will keep you organized, motivated, and accountable along the way.
Expect and plan for setbacks
It’s wise to expect and be ready for obstacles that will make your goal more challenging to reach. Examples of obstacles might include low energy or sickness, increased career demands, relationship challenges, and other unexpected life stressors. When stress in life increases, it’s easy to lose sight of our goals or delay our efforts; this is why it’s important to be specific and relevant when setting your goal. When challenges come up, be gentle with yourself and assess potential “middle path” plans of action. If the urge is to completely give up on the goal, consider smaller or tiny ways you can still invest in your goal.
For example, let’s say your SMART goal includes watching a 30-minute mindfulness video after work every day. You’ve been doing so well with your goal, but your boss just announced that everyone will be required to work overtime for the next two weeks; this leaves you with very little time between work and demands at home. In this case, a “middle path” approach might mean temporarily modifying how you practice mindfulness. You could try scheduling a few 5-minute breaks throughout your day to simply close your eyes and breathe. With this approach, you are still investing in your goal vs. completely halting progress. And you never know, you might find that this modified approach is more effective for you.
Don’t do it alone: accountability and support
Change is not about perfection; goal setting is about putting forth measurable effort, while being flexible, to make positive change in your life. Celebrate your victories along the way – large and small. Engage in positive self-talk and give yourself grace. Share your goals with your therapist and let them know what would be most helpful from a support and accountability aspect. It is OK to ask for help as you work toward the goal(s) you’ve set for yourself. If you are looking for such support, reach out to one of the Alliance for Healing therapists on our team. We are here for you.
Decreasing stress and maximizing joy around the holidays